Ravenwood Academy Year Three: Wolf Song Page 2

  “So, you’re basically spies?” I asked. “Are you in on his plan to take over the world?”

  “No,” she said, sounding hurt. “Of course not. But we don’t have the freedoms you do, Timberlyn. If we wouldn’t cooperate, they’d pull us from the academy in a second.”

  “Why do they want to know what’s going on with a bunch of teenagers?” I asked. “That’s pretty creepy, if you ask me.”

  “Ravenwood Academy is mostly supernaturals,” she said. “They want to know what’s going on with all the other supernaturals. But of course I don’t want to kill humans. How could you think that after two years of being friends with us?”

  “Sorry,” I muttered. It was true. If she was out to kill humans, she would have killed me freshman year, when I’d been a stupid little human. I’d been around her all year, been alone with her dozens of times. If she wanted me dead, I’d be dead already.

  “You’ll see him soon enough,” Viktor said after a few minutes of silence. He stared straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel of his fancy car with both hands. “But it’s not safe yet.”

  “Then… Just tell him I’m okay, and tell him where I am so he can come see me. That’s safe, right? I wouldn’t want to bite a werewolf?” I winced at my own words. I’d been a human up until recently, and I had no problem downing their blood like it was water on a hot summer day.

  “Okay,” Svana said. “We’ll tell him. But… Just don’t get upset if he doesn’t come visit. You might not have hated us, but you just became a wolf. You know how Alarick feels about us.”

  I couldn’t deny that. Alarick despised my friends, especially Viktor. I’d always assumed it had more to do with Alarick being a super possessive Alpha boyfriend than the fact that Viktor was a vampire. But the blood-drinking had been mentioned a time or two during our arguments over whether I should be friends with vampires.

  We pulled up to Ravenwood Academy and parked around back.

  “There’s an escape-proof room in the tower,” Svana explained. “It’s where all the newly evolved stay for a few months while they learn to control their instincts. You’ll still be volatile after that, but it won’t be as bad. You’ll be able to control yourself most of the time. Like Amy was last year.”

  “Okay,” I said, nodding and staring up at the towering bell that hung over Ravenwood. I’d never been up there or had a reason to go. Now, I did.

  We entered through a small door at the back of the building that I’d never been through. In the parking lot, I could smell humans in the vicinity, and my hunger pangs returned. The vampires hurried me through the door and pulled it closed behind us, plunging us into darkness. Here, only the smell of old stone and dust greeted me.

  “Come on,” Svana said, hooking her hand through my arm. “You’ll be able to see in the dark as your senses grow stronger. For now, just follow our lead.”

  Viktor’s cool hand hooked through my other arm, and together, we started up a set of stone steps. As we went, my eyes adjusted to the darkness a bit, and I knew I was seeing better than I could have as a human. Despite the lack of windows until the top of the tower, the scant light was enough for me to make out the steps and not trip and fall on my face.

  When we reached the top at last, Viktor pulled out a key and opened an old wooden door.

  “Wait, does wood really hold us?” I asked. “Does it take a wooden stake to kill me?” Everything had happened so fast that I hadn’t even had time to ask about what I was.

  “Yes, and yes,” Svana said. “And don’t worry. We’ll be on campus all summer. We’ll bring you food every day and teach you about what you are. You’re not in jail, Timberlyn. If you really want to leave, you don’t have to jump out the window or anything. Just ask us. We’ll let you out if you really want to go out.”

  Inside the small room, I took in the one window, wooden floors, and stone walls. There was a small twin bed made up neatly with my blankets. My rug lay beside it, my toiletries were in the bathroom, and my sketchbooks and pencils waited on the desk. I’d never decorated the room I’d shared with Brooklyn, so they hadn’t had to bring much.

  “You knew I’d come?” I asked, turning to my friends. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. They’d gone through my things, brought me what I’d need. They’d no doubt filled the small chest of drawers with my clothes. I was glad I had my stuff, but there was something violating about it. I didn’t like the thought of Viktor touching my bras or seeing the granny-panties I wore during my period.

  “Everyone has to find their own way, decide what they want to do with their new life,” Svana said. “Most people, like Amy and us, want to protect humans. Most of the newly turned agree to stay here to curb their cravings until they can control them. Not everyone wants that. But we were pretty sure you’d be the type who did.”

  After a few minutes, they left me to get used to my new little room while they went back to school. They had a few weeks before summer. I stood at the window watching students cross the campus, oblivious to my watching eyes. When that felt too weird, I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, ignoring the nagging hunger that had settled in the back of my mind like a permanent resident.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe, since I wasn’t all vampire just like I wasn’t all wolf, I’d be able to control myself after a few meals. Like I didn’t have to shift at the full moon. I wanted to, but I didn’t have to. Maybe I didn’t even have to drink blood. I could be the kind of vampire who still ate food. If there was such a thing. Even if not, maybe I could be the first.

  As I lay there, I thought about what Svana and Viktor had done for me. I should have been nicer to them, shown them I was grateful. Viktor had saved me, just as he’d saved Amy. He’d kept me alive, despite Mr. Ravenwood’s wish to kill me. I didn’t know much about vampire society, but I knew they had a council to answer to, and that he could probably get in a lot of trouble for what he’d done. They’d kept my life a secret until I woke up, fed me, moved all my things into this room to protect me and protect the humans on campus.

  Maybe I’d just never be the kind of person who fully, easily trusted others. But they were obviously on my side. They’d locked the door when they left, but they’d told me that if I wanted, I could go out and kill a bunch of people. Not that I wanted to do that, but they obviously trusted me to do what was best. The thought of some vampires wanting to leave while unable to control themselves made me sick. I’d dreamed of revenge for years, but now that I was immensely strong and actually able to exact revenge, it was the last thing I wanted.

  What I wanted was Alarick. He’d become my comfort, my protector. But as I watched from the window that day, I didn’t see him. That evening, when Svana came back bearing gifts of blood, she told me that the Wolf boys weren’t in school, but she sent a message letting them know where I was. I was so thirsty I barely heard her words.

  The hunger had taken me over more every hour until it possessed me like a demon. I barely stopped myself from biting her, even though she didn’t smell like the food she carried. I tore into the thick plastic bag she brought, sucking out the blood like an animal. I knew it was my imagination, but I swore I could smell the humans down there on campus, pulsing with blood and ready to be bitten.

  That was when I knew. This was only the beginning. There was no halfway about this part of my vampirism. I wouldn’t be eating anything else. Bloodthirst wouldn’t be optional, like shifting on the full moon. I was well and truly going mad, and it had only been a day.

  I told Svana not to let me out, no matter what I said, until I was better. That was when I knew I couldn’t see Alarick, either, no matter how much I wanted to. What if I bit him? What if he saw me like this, a desperate, begging addict, and was disgusted? I sent her away with a message that I loved him, but I wouldn’t be able to see him for a while. Pain squeezed inside me as I delivered the words, but the craving was already back, building inside me until I didn’t feel the pain of Alarick’s absence. All I felt was hunger. r />
  Chapter Three

  My summer as a vampire passed in a blur of blood and hunger. I saw no one but Viktor and Svana. Svana told me that Amy went home for the summer, now able to control herself well enough to be trusted around her family. As for me, I had no interest in anything but feeding. Viktor brought me a phone, but I didn’t use it much. I didn’t draw or miss the walks that used to clear my head. I wanted to leave only so I could ravage the entire island.

  I screamed at my friends when they wouldn’t let me, even though I’d asked them not to listen to me. I lost the ability to feel shame for my actions. I wanted blood, only blood. The need consumed me. I couldn’t think of anything but the hunger, couldn’t feel the heat of the long summer days, barely noticed the days lingering later and later, until there was barely darkness at all.

  And then, gradually, as the endless summer of misery wore on, I began to wake from the red, nightmare hunger. I found myself able to focus on other things, a bit at a time. I checked my phone, texting my parents with more than cursory assurances that I was fine. I sent Josie GIFs. I called Gramma and told her how much I missed her.

  I noticed that there were a few more minutes of darkness each night. I thought of questions to ask Svana and Viktor when they came, instead of just lurching at them like a crazed zombie, gulping down the blood, and begging them to let me out to get more. My head began to clear enough to be thankful instead of angry that they didn’t honor my requests, knowing I’d made them out of desperate addiction and not my true intentions.

  One evening, in the never-ending twilight of an August day, I did something I thought was impossible—asked Viktor a question before eating.

  “How can you and Svana stand to watch someone go through this?” I asked. “I can’t even stand it, and it’s me.”

  He shrugged one shoulder and turned away, avoiding my eyes. “It’s just what happens. If the choice is between taking care of the newly evolved or letting them go slaughter a bunch of people and live with that guilt…”

  “Because that’s what happened to you,” I guessed, feeling horrible for bringing up something he obviously didn’t want to talk about.

  “There was no Ravenwood where we evolved,” he said, setting the bag of blood down on my nightstand.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to touch his forearm. It was cold to the touch, and I felt a little shiver go through him when my fingertips lingered on his skin.

  “It was a long time ago,” he said, his eyes dropping closed as he took a deep breath.

  “Well, thank you for taking care of me.”

  “I’m your maker,” he said, like it didn’t mean anything. “I’m responsible for you.”

  I remembered Amy saying Viktor was like her dad, but it didn’t feel like that to me. I was embarrassed that he’d seen me at my worst, and then worse than my worst. I remembered, at the start of the summer, being embarrassed that he might have seen my ugly underwear while moving my things. Now, that seemed like the silly concerns of a little girl. Now, he’d seen me beg and rave with bloodlust, offer him my body and my life for one more taste. He’d seen me attack a bag of blood like a rabid animal and cry when I tore into it and it spilled. He’d seen me lick blood off my fingers, my hair, the floor.

  And he still looked at me with gentleness, compassion, and an ache in his eyes that made my heart fold in on itself, like he took on my pain and felt it magnified. I knew it wasn’t fair, but I’d liked seeing myself as Viktor did. I’d liked that he admired me, that he liked me. And yes, I felt like a selfish, shallow person for that, because I had Alarick, but I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t always felt… Something… For Viktor.

  I pressed my palms to my thighs, resisting the urge to reach for the blood. It still called to me, but I didn’t scramble for it and grovel like an animal when it was gone. “I’m sure it can’t be easy to see someone begging like a junkie,” I said. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”

  “It’s not your fault,” he said, sinking onto the bed beside me. “If anything, it’s my fault.”

  “It’s not.” Now it was my turn to avoid his gaze. “What you and Svana did for me… I appreciate it. You saved my life. And I know it must suck to see a friend go through something like this.”

  “It is harder when it’s a friend,” Viktor admitted, his fingers lightly brushing over my back. “I hate to see you suffering. But I knew if I let you have what you wanted, it would make it even worse.”

  “Yeah,” I said with an awkward laugh. “You must think I’m disgusting now.”

  To my surprise, Viktor let out a low chuckle. “Why would I think that, Timberlyn? If you didn’t think I was disgusting even when you were human, why would I think that about you now, when you’re just like me?”

  “Because,” I whispered. “You saw me act like that.”

  “I felt for you,” he said. “I was never disgusted by it. I know what hunger is like.”

  “Great,” I said. “I think I’d rather have disgust than pity.”

  I started to stand, but Viktor’s hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me back. “Timberlyn,” he said. “It’s okay to accept someone’s sympathy. It doesn’t mean I pity you. I don’t look down on you for what happened. I admire you for making the choice you did, for asking us to keep you here and keep people safe from you. I respect you for the decisions you’ve made since you started school here. And I don’t just respect you. I… I like you.”

  I sat frozen as he angled his body toward mine, sliding a hand along my shoulder, under my hair. “I… Me, too,” I said. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

  “I don’t mean as a friend,” he said, his lavender eyes smoldering with desire as he leaned closer.

  I didn’t move. His lids lowered, and he drew me forward, his gentle hand cradling the back of my neck. His mouth met mine, his lips soft as a whisper. It had been so long since I felt anything but hunger, that nothing else existed for a moment. His lips were so soft, like moth wings slowly stroking the sensitive skin of my lips until a slow spiral of tingling sparkled through me like fairy dust. I swooned against him, my hands fisting his shirt, my body craving the contact though his was nothing like Alarick’s frantic, passionate kiss.

  I jerked back, only realizing I’d kissed him back when I’d already done it.

  “Viktor,” I said, pressing my fingertips to my mouth and eyeing him warily. “I’m still with Alarick. You know that.”

  A frown knitted his brow, and he turned away. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, suddenly desperate not to make him angry, not to make him leave. He and Svana were the only human contact—the only contact, anyway—that I’d had in months. I’d never thought I was especially social, but after being in isolation alone most of that time, never able to leave, only seeing them a few hours a day, if that, I knew I had underestimated my need for companionship.

  True, I hadn’t been myself most of that time, but they had. They’d been there for me. The thought of seeing one less person was torturous. And we’d been through something, the three of us. It had bonded us. It was like they’d gone through addiction, rehab, and recovery with me. I couldn’t forget that, even if Viktor could.

  “I’m sorry,” I said when he didn’t answer. I laid my hand over his on the edge of the bed. “I shouldn’t have let you do that.”

  “No, I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “I knew you were going to,” I whispered. It was true. He hadn’t blindsided me. Not totally. He’d put his arm around me. He’d leaned in. He’d pulled me in. And as he did all those things, I hadn’t pulled away. I had kissed him back.

  “You did?” Viktor asked, looking up with such hope in his eyes that it broke my heart.

  I swallowed hard. “Yes,” I admitted. “But it can’t happen again. Not until I’ve talked to Alarick.”

  “You’re breaking up with him?” Viktor asked.

  “What? No,” I said quickly. “Look, Viktor, I don’t know what’s going t
o happen. I like you a lot, as a friend. I’m not sure if I like you as more than that. I’m sorry I can’t give you more answers, but I’ve been up here for so long I’m not thinking straight.”

  He avoided my gaze as he stood. “Okay.”

  My heart squeezed, and I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I didn’t want to lead him on, and I wasn’t sure how he’d take that. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “But I really need to see Alarick. Can you send him to visit?”

  Viktor nodded, his lips tight. “Okay.”

  I couldn’t help the horrible feelings of guilt that wrapped around my heart as he stood there, looking so alone, while I asked to see my boyfriend.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again, sounding like a broken record by now. “I just need to know where we stand. Maybe he’ll hate me, like you said.”

  “Okay.” Viktor went to the door, unlocked it, and stepped out without another word. And then he was gone.

  I flopped back on the bed and groaned in frustration. I was so turned around I couldn’t think straight. I hadn’t seen anyone but him in months. Of course I wanted some physical affection. I’d grown close to him, while Alarick was out there…

  Damn it. He was probably waiting for me. Probably wanting to see me.

  And I… Well, I wasn’t sure how I felt anymore. I missed him. But I wasn’t just a wolf anymore. And I’d never been his true mate, the thing wolves wanted more than anything else in the world. When he found her, he’d have to leave me. Our time had always been measured. That was part of what made us so frantic for each other, made us squeeze every drop from the time we had together. He might meet his mate, and then I would be nothing to him. We had no unnatural bond, only a natural attraction.

  Which I seemed to have developed for someone else as well.

  Crap on a cracker.

  I got up and went to stare at the full moon overhead. I’d shifted once during the summer, mostly to see if it eased the maddening, ravenous hunger. It hadn’t. After that, I had been too distracted, too consumed, to try it. I didn’t have to shift at the full moon, but I knew that somewhere inside me, my wolf was waiting. Tonight, staring up at the silvery orb in the sky, I wanted to shift again. For the first time in months, I wanted to be a wolf, to run through the woods with the wind in my fur, to catch a rabbit, to understand in some instinctual way the treasure of its life as I devoured the fresh meat.